Today was crazy.
It’s amazing how setting your heart and intent on something that is important to you and sharing your vision with others, can swing doors open almost faster than you can run through them.
When I was growing up, I planned to go to college. I thought about it, talked about and planned for it. I wondered which friends I would move away with to experience a lot of “firsts” with. My parents just expected that it would happen, because both of them had graduated. My Grandparents actually saved for decades to be able to help send their children and grandchildren to college. I didn’t even look at college as an option, it was just what you did.
And then, I graduated high school. I remember being nervous and excited all at the same time. I was ready to jump out on my own and experience the world but I also knew that once I left, I wouldn’t be returning ever again. This is the part that freaked me out. I loved my family and being the oldest child, I felt as though I was setting off on a great adventure into the unknown.
I remember saying goodnight, and goodbye, the night before I drove away for good. I remember them asking me if I was nervous, and I started to cry. I knew it was a big deal – and just as I had expected, nothing was the same ever again. I miss my childhood sometimes. It was a beautiful blessing.
I drove away with my cousin and one of my best friends, Ally. We had grown up together from birth. We acted more like sisters a lot of the time, because we became close enough to be annoyed with each other. My only sister is 8 years younger than myself, so Ally was the next best thing. We brought pots and pans, as if we would know what to do with them. We piled all of our decorations and clothes into her car, and set off for college.
College was great! So great that I barely knew how to handle all of the distractions I was faced with. One of the biggest distractions – actually THE distraction – was Jon. I met him right away, and my life would never be the same. I have told that story before, so I will jump ahead and say that after a few years of playing hard, and kind of going to school, I dropped out. I was pregnant with Kinley, and beginning a new chapter in life.
I often felt guilty about throwing away my chance to finish my college education, sometimes I still do. I would love more than anything to finish what I started – at some point, if it made sense. But no matter what, I have always known that the second I was ready for a career, there would be one there waiting for me. This is kind of a weird thought to have, without any formal training, but just the same – I knew it. I didn’t know what I would be doing or how it would all work out.
I went ahead, and raised lots of kids. Step kids, foster kids, biological kids and adopted kids. I lived my life and made the best out of the situation I found myself in.
Now, after a crazy chain of events, I’m finally here. My youngest child is five years old, and I have so many opportunities, I can’t even barley wrap my brain around them. I worked and built RBM Building Services with Jon for 20 years, behind the scenes, and then over time when I had the chance, I started developing talents. These weren’t really thought out, I just started practicing things that I loved to do. And then, when people needed those talents, I would share them for free. The more I shared my talents, the more others saw my abilities *or at least what I was working on* and gave me other chances to use them.
So in a weird crazy way, I have brought to realization my perfect dream job. I am only part way there, but I am on my way. I believe if you keep working really hard at things you love, you will get better and eventually you can make other people’s lives more complete, by doing what you love. Now that is beautiful.
So here I am. Right smack dab in the middle of my future. I don’t know exactly where I am going, but after days like today, when every thought was answered with a very direct path set in front of me, (time after time after time) it’s hard to ignore. There is a bigger picture than us, the challenge is to hang on long enough to see what blessings are already there for us to grab hold of.
xoxo
Janae
Thank goodness we have great friends and family to enjoy along the way.
