Once upon a time, I had lots of babies really fast.
Every few years, we had a new addition to our family. I was tired. I was overwhelmed with love and exhaustion. I was exactly where I wanted to be, yet wanting to run away at the same time. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else, and was elated and lost in my babies eyes when I saw them smile or laugh for the first time. At night, when I’d fall asleep, I’d dream of basking in the sun on a beach – by myself. The days blurred together and then nights were endless, filled with ear infections, bed wetting accidents, nightmares, and hungry babies. The days were filled with noise. Laughing, crying, the phone ringing, fighting, stories, cartoons, messes and so much more.
Somewhere, in all of that, a miraculous thing was happening – almost without my knowledge. Day by day, I was passing on information. The pattern of our family was being designed. Some days were great, and others I wish I could forget. It felt so normal, and so uneventful, for the most part. Mundane diapers, feedings and laundry were always on my unwritten agenda. Why write when it’s always the same? And now, here I am, beginning to see the beautiful outcome of not giving up. The masterpiece that was once just pieces, are now beginning to come together.
My kids are getting older, so quickly. I will be a GRANDMA in May. A 38 year old Grandma, to be exact. Baby Emma, will make me a “Gigi”. That’s the name I picked for myself. I figure that if I’ll be a Grandma so soon, I may as well be able to pick what I’ll be called. I couldn’t be happier for Sydney and Briant. They will be amazing parents, and this little sweetheart will be adored and cuddled by so many. My other kids will be aunts and Mr. Handsome will be an uncle! It’s crazy to think about.
My kinley is seventeen and a half, and has turned into a beautiful young woman. There have been times lately, when I’ve cried in her arms. This sweet baby that I snuggled from birth, is now one of my best friends. She is strong, and brave, and wonderful. I’ve seen a glimpse into the woman that she will be, long after she’s moved on away from my home, and I am proud. Proud to tears. She has given me such good advice and support in hard times, that I know I did something right along the way. Heaven knows, I didn’t do it all right – but I never gave up – and in that determination, she felt enough love from all around her, that she flourished. Who knows what amazing things my Kinley will accomplish. I have no doubt she will make a big difference in this world.
Whitney passed her test today to get her driving permit! We were both so excited! She has also come so far in the past few years. She has left the worst of the crazy stage, and is gliding into a very fun age (Just as Brighton enters the worst). I also, has given me support and advice. Whitney is artistic and thoughtful. She thinks deeply about the person she wants to be someday and what she wants to accomplish. She is driven and doesn’t plan on wasting one single day. I couldn’t begin to count the number of conversations we’ve had about her future plans. Yes, I love her. It is a fine day when you realize that you’d rather relax with your children than anyone else. All of my girls are so beautiful, inside and out. I couldn’t be more proud.
Brighton just won SIX debates in a row in her junior high. She wasn’t even able to pick the topic or what side she would fight for, and she still won! I made her take debate, because I knew she was naturally good at it. I have front row seats, you know. She is tough and bright. I don’t know what she will choose to focus on in school, but if she focusses, she will achieve whatever she wishes. Just like any of the kids, of course, but I could see her enjoying things that my other girls wouldn’t, such as being a lawyer, judge, in the CIA or things of that nature. I would crack – I wasn’t built for that. What a little lady.
Ella is as sweet as ever, but moving into the stage of being more sensitive. She is ten, almost eleven, so that is her job. She is very smart, and worried me very much today when she cried before school. She said she didn’t feel like she could keep up, and that the kids were mean to her. I called her teacher and she said that Ella is very thoughtful about what she does. She does take longer to finish her work, but that’s because she really is deliberate. She cares how people feel and she is competitive. She wants to do a good job. She still holds the desire to have “a bunch of kids”.
Halle is our little DIVA. She is funny, and should have been one of the Olsen Twins on the television in the 90’s. She is funny, and quick. She looks a lot like Whitney did at her age, and like I did at their age. She winks at me when I get her jokes. She dresses like a rock star. She knows what she wants and how she’s going to get it. She reads with Jordan and they play like twins would. What a blessing that they have eachother. They will always be close.
Jordan is thriving. I can tell he has been affected by our recent move, but hopefully he will calm down a bit soon. He is a very good boy – and stubborn, determined, entergetic, strategic, inquisitive, curious, smart and loving. Sometimes, he drives us all crazy – I think mostly because the girls aren’t used to boys in the house. They just act different. He is as Handsome as ever, and LOVES his sisters. Just today he told me, “Mom, I’d be a lot more happy if you’d just let me do whatever I wanted, all the time.”
Every year as each of the kids gets a little older, I am so proud of them. They will begin to leave our home as fast as they came into it. They scares me, and excites me for the future. What a blessing each of them are. I have learned more patience from being a mother than anything else I could imagine.
Other than that, Jon and I took our quick trip to Las Vegas on Friday night. We didn’t know where we were going, we just packed and left to the airport. I’ve always wanted to do that, and it was the perfect time. We just needed to be ALONE. We have SO many people in our lives, pulling us a million different directions all the time. Really, truly, the only way we will make our relationship strong through the extreem amounts of stress in our lives, is to do anything we can to be alone whenever possible.
Have a great night. May you see a bit into your future if you feel stuck in a little kid rut. I am not sad that I am in the phase that I am, I couldn’t be more blessed. Completely frustrated, tired, and sometimes ornery kind of blessed, but blessed just the same.
You are amazing as is your family!
Your children are BEAUTIFUL! For a split second when I was scrolling through, I thought that was Jon in the picture with Sydney! 🙂 I can't wait to see pics of the new baby when she makes her debut! 🙂
I just wrote yesterday on my blog about how my life feels very much like a circus these days…a circus that I LOVE, but a crazy, chaotic circus nonetheless! 😉
I love that hat, i saw many hats at apparelnbags.com/store/winter-clothing.htm