She asked me to go to the movies, I said yes.
She asked to go with two guy friends, I said yes.
She asked to go to a scary movie, and even though it was rated R, I said yes.
Maybe I should have said no.
Not because I thought she would be too scared.
Not because I worried about the boys she would be going with, and
Not because it was rated R, although that should have been reason enough.
When she returned, I had to get the rundown – just like always, and it went a little something like this:
“Mom, I’ve got to tell you a story!” (kinley)
“Okay, I’m ready.”
“Mom…… ” She broke out into a laughter that forecasted a doozy. “Mom… the movie was scary, and that’s not all. Mom, I was sitting there watching the movie, and my stomach hurt so bad so I text my friend and told her.”
“Why did your stomach hurt? Are you okay?”
“Yes, mom. I just had to fart, so I told my friend. She told me to let it out slow, so I did, well kind of did, well it was pretty slow, but REALLY LOUD! My legs were spread apart, and it was so quiet! I started laughing SO hard because I didn’t know what else to do. And then everyone turned around to see who it was, and I said really loud ‘I farted!’ I didn’t know what else to do mom!!”
At this point I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants, and could barley listen.
“So Kinley, what did the boys say?! hahahahahaha”
“Well, you know them mom, their eyes got REALLY big, and one guy yelled ‘DANG GINA’!”
“Kinley, did the guys say anything after the movie?”
“No, they just both pretended it didn’t happen.”
I was rolling.
Some people say girls don’t fart, but I’m here to tell you that they do. They need to fart every bit as much as their male counterpart, and maybe more because they’ve actually tried to hold it in. I’ve farted. I have six daughters that fart. I have girl family members that fart, and girl friends that fart. I have a girl dog that farts. We all do it, it’s just that SOME hide it better than others.