I received the following letter from Handsome’s birth mama a while back, and Na Na thought that it would be a good idea to share her thoughts, so other people in her situation and understand.  

As I read the letter, I have so many mixed emotions.  I can feel the pain in her words, and the regret in her thoughts. I can also see her resolution, that what she did was the best decision for everyone.  

 …………………………………

Birth mama, 

 Handsome will always love you.  You are a very important piece of who he is.  

You gave him life.  You gave him love.  You gave him happiness.

You didn’t just give him to us.

Stay strong.

My heart aches for your loss.

I am being the very best adoptive mama to him that I can. 

Hugs and kisses are not in short supply, with all of his sisters swarming about him everyday.

He has the best relationship with his dad ever.

They speak of driving tucks, and shooting guns.

They feed the ducks at the park, and go to “work” to make sure things are right.

Your gift to Handsome will go on for generations.

Not just today, or tomorrow, or a month, or year.

His life, the life of his children, and their children have been blessed because of you.

They will all know of your gift.

And in a few short years, he will be in your arms again.

He will be told stories of you at bedtime,

tales of your love.

He will grow up feeling supported by so many,

near and far.

And when the time is right, 

you can sit down together and share your stories together.

My heart is full because of your sacrifice.

Did you know that you were an angel?

Did you know that you were a part of an answer from our Heavenly Father?

You were.

You are.

You will be guided and blessed in your life,

You listened to the whisperings of the spirit, even when it was painful.

You gave of your beloved son, just as Heavenly Father gave of His.

The greatest sacrifice of all.

Love Janae, 

your friend

*****************

To my beautiful miracle,

   

    i am writing this to you to let you know that

i still love you. I placed you in to your adoptive families

arms because i felt that you needed better, i was in the

fear of one day your dad would hurt us both like he hurt me

and you when i was pregnant, i also had the fear of never

being able to give you what you needed. I thought i could

raise you myself and make it to see you grow up one day i was

doing good at first then i started to strive for so many

things that you needed and to keep you happy and alive.

    i was able to do it but i couldn’t do it without

knowing that i could not give you what i thought you needed

or want. i hoped one day it would happen it never did. i

decided to talk to your aunt Sasha about placing you with a

family and i knew that it was the right thing to do i talked

to them on the phone finally met them in person and i knew

that you belonged with them, i knew that it was the right

family for you they had the money to raise you and give you

what you needed that i couldn’t do. i miss you so much and

have regretted the placement cause i thought and have thought

that if i never placed you i could of found a way to make

it. I want you to know the only reason why i placed you

cause it was the best for you i love you with all my heart

caring you for nine months and raising you for a year and

then placing you was the hardest thing i would of ever done.

Placing you was the best thing i could of ever done for you.

i love you son i don’t want you to think i never wanted you

but i did. you wouldn’t of had the life you have now being

with me. I hope you stay happy and be happy with the family

you have. Never forget your my son and i love you with

everything in my heart. 

love, your birth mother