Blogging is a funny thing.

I have been looking back through some of my posts over the years, as I have redesigned my blog.  It’s amazing how many things I have forgotten, and it crazy to me how much I have grown as a writer.  Not to say, I don’t have a million miles to go, but I have seen improvement.  Another thing I have noticed is, when I am interviewed by people, I know more clearly how I feel about things in my life.  I naturally stutter when I have big ideas I want to try and relay, because my thoughts move faster than my words.  When I have the chance to write though some thoughts before, it seems to flow more smoothly.

So what am I saying?  Not sure, other than thanks for hanging in there through my personal development, for whatever reason.  Like I said before, I am going through some kind of transformation in thinking about my blog.  Part of me wants to move into writing some sort of books, (I have a few really great ideas, if I do say so myself), and another part of me wants to continue sitting on the couch, as if you are seemingly by my side, as I ramble.

I have been faced with some more life changing decisions over the past week or so.  Nothing as big as adopting Jordan, don’t worry.  Just thoughts about where I am going over the next 20 years.  Maybe my blog is having a mid-life crisis right along with me?

I am getting to the point where Handsome will start going to preschool in the fall *I can’t believe it* He has been sad every time he has to say goodbye to all of his sisters, as they pile out of the big white beast every morning.  He is counting down the days that he can jump out with them, for some coloring fun, three days a week for a few hours.  I used to be worried that he would have separation anxiety, but he has done really well at nursery in church each Sunday.  It used to freak him out, but when he realized his other option was to sit on my lap in my class for 2 hours listening to old women go on and on about casseroles, he eventually relented, with crackers in one hand, and a truck in the other.

This leads me to much contemplation, because I am a complatative kind of person.  I am always looking for the next thing.  My next adventure.  Something to help me grow into being more.  I tried out hanging in my office for about the past 8 months, only to decide that I am not meant to be there full time.  I love going on Mondays, to all of our sales meetings, manager meetings, and to attend the life coaching class we have for main staff.  I think it’s a great day to get to know each of the key players, so I can understand the dynamic of each situation that Jon comes to me with about business.  Over the past 10 years or so, Jon would waltz through the front doors after work, and ask my advice and input about a million things we are facing in RBM, but without actually being there to hear some of the meetings first hand, I had a limited view the larger picture at hand.

I never saw myself as a business person, per se, but as I have grown into the “business owner” position over the past 17 years, I have some kind of perspective and opinions on many subjects.  I am not necessarily the one negotiating all of the contracts like Jon does every day, but I have had the chance to sit in meetings with numerous lawyers, accountants, financial planners, interviews, networking meetings, planning meetings, and on and on. Also, talking to Jon about business for at least an hour a day.   So, I have had a kind of schooling.  When I go to events where there are many business owners, I used to worry that I wouldn’t understand what they were talking about, so I was pleasantly surprised as I felt very comfortable speaking my mind on any subject that came up, even giving advice a lot of the time.

Like I said, I didn’t set out to be “this” person, but it just happened.  I support Jon, and one way I can truly understand his stresses in business, is to fully know what is going on and help him work them out in his mind.  Having said that, I am naturally a very different kind of person than he is.  I love the arts; music, pictures, words, philosophy, the humanities, and such.  I feel a void in these areas, that are so intrinsically me.  I didn’t realize this hole as much over the past 15 years, as I have been raising small children, but something in me has been awakened over the past year or so.

I have been craving knowledge in a big way.

When I went to college the first time, I was doing fabulous in the areas of learning how to drop classes, and the specifics of fitting in physical education in during school hours; four wheeling, snowmobiling, water skiing, and such.  I got a degree in play, doesn’t that count?  As I look back over the years, it worked itself out.  I didn’t graduate, in fact I would rather start completely over than carry on with the transcripts I have.  But, I was married and had Kinley soon after.  Actually four kids in two years, if you count my niece also.  She lived with us for almost 5 years, so I count her.  So school, just wasn’t in my cards, yet.

I know what you are thinking.  It’s the same thing I am thinking.  “How in the world would you/I have time for school with six kids at home?”  and I would say to you/myself, “I would go to school Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, while all of the kids were in school.  {I’m good huh?!} Then you would say, “But Janae, you are busy enough as it is.  Don’t you need those few hours to just sit and think?!” and I would say, “Yes, you are probably right.” But this is the thing.  I don’t do things that way.  I am always enjoy life more when I am busy, and striving to be better.  When I sit around too much just breathing, I get agitated.

So what am I saying?  I am not quite sure.  I am just fleshing this out with all of you out there in cyberspace.  Why?  I’m not sure.  I believe that it is a great thing for my kids to see that schooling is important to me, especially with so many girls.  I want them to believe in themselves, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they can do or be, ANYTHING they put their mind to.  The world needs more strong-willed girls, that help shape future generations.  I know women always struggle with wanting to be a mother someday, and having a career, and how the two coincide, but I believe it is important to develop talents and skills.  Whether women go right into their career and have a family simultaneously,  have a family later, or start a family, and have a degree to fall back on.

I know there are those out there (some say to me), that say “Why do I need a degree, if I can just go and start a business?  You did it.” and I would agree partly.  Yes, Jon and I have built a strong thriving business.  We have had successes and made major mistakes.  Our schooling was probably more expensive than Harvard or Yale, or any other Ivy league school because of our losses.  But, we did it.  In the meantime though, both Jon and I could have been much more effective and comprehensive, if we would have had the background of a business degree.  Jon wishes all the time, that he would read and write better than he does now.  So schooling, in our opinion, is still worth it.  You understand more of what you don’t know when you are educated, and that my friends, makes all the difference.

I know this is pretty deep thought for Pink Moss, so hopefully by now you would have checked out, if you aren’t in the least bit interested.  I rarely talk about business on my blog, because I talk about it SO much in my real life.  I think I will start though.  I believe that I have a perspective on business that other people out there would relate with.  Wives of business owners (or men that have careers in general) play an interesting role.  You/we/I are part of the business, which breathes a life of it’s own, but we aren’t on the front lines.  We are either working our own job, or at home, picking up the pieces when they have a hard day. More about that later, but I laugh when someone acts as if I don’t understand what Jon is doing each day.

Back to the school thoughts…

What stops me from jumping in?  I am first and foremost scared of my inefficiencies in budgeting time.  I am always busy, but I need to focus more on being productive and not just in my mind.  Next, I am scared to death of MATH.  I checked out of that part of my life, when I was about 13.

TWENTY- THREE years ago. People, my kids would have to help me with math.  I worry that the math classes alone would take me 4 years to complete…and I am actually not exaggerating.  Add the fact that I am old enough now to be most of their mothers!  hello? I fear that I don’t walk fast enough to keep up, or might just get so annoyed with their “youngness” that I will tell them what I REALLY think, and that might just be scary.  My professors would more than likely be mortified that they were teaching a mother of 7, when they probably only have 3.  Really, can you see me sitting in the cafeteria eating a salad again, as I study?  It’s possibly really hilarious…the thoughts.  “Really Mrs. Moss, you don’t know how to add a fraction, and you are 36!?” And I think it might be weird if I am in an English class, and I am still trying to find the cliff notes because I procrastinated.

I could go on and on, but you get the point.  There are plenty of things that excite me though.  I now know what things I am really interested in studying.  I understand who I am as a person now better than ever.  I would be there, because I wanted to, and not because it was the thing to do after high school.

I would love to learn about:





Community classes


Social media

and some business

What degree does this sound like?  I am not sure.  I am thinking maybe communications, or sociology, or Bachelors of Fine Arts and be a photographer.  I don’t know, but I would want to do something that added to the path I am already on. I would want it to add to who I am, where I am going.  So, my friends…any input is welcome.  My biggest fear, is that I will fail.  I feel like I failed the first time, and I wonder why I would put myself through that again.  I will seriously be the 94 year old lady on the billboard that says, “It is never too late to be edumacated.” got it, it’s possible.  It could take me 10-15 years to actually graduate….and maybe it doesn’t matter.  Maybe the point is to learn and apply it, whether I get the actual degree or not.  I don’t believe making decisions out of fear, is a good thing. 

Thoughts?  Words of Wisdom?

Heaven knows I would take both!

Source: via Carolyn on Pinterest