Would you believe that today *Thursday* is the one year anniversary of learning about Handsome’s existence? I can’t. This year has flown by. It has been a hard year, but worth it in every way. I couldn’t be happier with his progress in every area.
He is eating great, talking just as well or better than any of my other kids at his age, just decided to be potty trained, hugs, loves, laughs, sleeps well through the night and is so close to all the girls and Jon. He is a delight and such a perfect addition to our family.
He introduced Pink Moss to trucks, fake guns, cars, and funny mouth noises to make the go. He wrestles and cackles when something is really funny to him. He runs everywhere and it is obvious he knows he is loved.
Loved indeed. He has us all wrapped around his little finger and I can’t imagine the thought of not adopting him now. I read the decision making process I went through and although it would have been easier to say no, how could I ever trade our Handsome for all the love he brings into our home?
Our Adoption: Part One
To begin, I have to give a little information on myself. I came from a family of three boys and two girls. I grew up with Superman, He-Man, Star Wars, and any other “man” you can name. I was active. I never sat around playing with dolls or wondering what the boys were doing. I was hanging out with my brothers *my sister was the youngest and I was the oldest*. I had mostly guy friends, unless my girlfriends were the kind that could run and play. This continued until high school. I loved the free spirit and *get over it attitude* that guys have.
No drama for me please.
I did love to do my little sister’s hair and remember vividly praying one day that I would have a daughter because I loved to do hair so much.
*You can laugh out loud if you must, I do every day!*
I am beginning to learn that prayers are listened to and they are answered, in His time and how it is best for us. That one little prayer transcended years until the day I started having children. I planned on having boys, lots of them. I wanted to attend football games, soccer games and stock the fridge with food so they would all hang out at the house, and then I was married. My hubby came with a girl, we had a girl soon after, and had our second girl within two years and were legal guardians to our niece!
Four girls in two years!
I couldn’t believe it.
I loved them more than anything but was sure there was a boy in there somewhere to even it out.
I took a three year break and had girl number four *not counting my niece*, and five two years later. It took me 3 years to decide to give it one more shot for a boy because I wanted to know I was having another baby to a have a baby and not just a boy. It took me 9 months to get pregnant which was crazy for me and had another girl.
Our dog is a girl
Our cat was a girl
and I would bet all of our fish are girls
If there is one thing I want you to know, it’s that
I LOVE MY GIRLS.
We have SO much fun together and I wouldn’t trade my life for anything, but that hole in my heart hadn’t been closed. When my youngest was two, I started looking online obsessively to adopt a son that would fit between my last two or after the end of the row. I realized quickly how much money it cost and felt quite guilty for possibly taking a baby away from a family that couldn’t have children. After about a month of looking, I started feeling sad. I knew it wasn’t for me and I was wasting time.
I had great kids and full hands.
I had to find a way to move on and thrive with what I had been given, so I knelt down in my laundry room by the computer that I was looking for a son on. I started to cry and poured out my heart to Heavenly Father asking him to help me accept that I wouldn’t ever get the chance to raise a boy. I expressed my gratitude for all that I had and my love for each of my children. I asked if I could turn this over to Him. I asked that if there was ever a little boy out there that needed a home and we would be a good fit, that he would come into our lives.
I knew this was a stretch, but it made me feel better.
I promised to focus on the children I had, and doing my best as a mother. As I closed the prayer, a flash of my friend Jared’s face went through my mind. He is actually one of two guys that nicknamed me “shmonae” so many years ago.
*I wasn’t sure why, but I saw him that same week and mentioned to him that if he came across a little boy that needed me, to let me know. He laughed and agreed.*
I felt so much better. I got up off the laundry room floor and went about my business. I felt like I had closure and didn’t tear up every time I saw a little boy that looked something like
I was content watching my nephews grow and handing them back to their parents when they pooped. I felt relieved I was finished with the diapers, high chair, bottles, and long nights.
I thought as I watched all my siblings start their families. I had done my duty. I was now moving into the pre-teenage years and grade school. My life became homework, lessons, monitoring the computer, and counseling on all the many issues young girls face. Last week I was asked to be on the “Women in Philanthropy board” because
“I had more time”.
My kids were almost all in school and I wanted to contribute. I was content.
Fast forward two years.
Last Thursday night I get an email from my buddy Jared. He and his darling wife are adopting their second son in November and were asked by the birth mom if they wanted two babies because her friend was thinking about placing also. He was worried that 2 kids the same month would be crazy, so he asked if Jon and I were interested.
I read it out loud to Jon with a shocked, half quirk smile on my face.
“Yea right!” I exclaimed…
Jon looked me straight in the eyes and said,
“Janae, you really want this don’t you?”
I just started crying.