“Jordan….Halle!!! Come get into the car, we are going to the grocery store!”

“ok mama!”

They both grabbed their shoes and followed me out to our beat up Suburban.  We have only had the car about six years, but man that thing takes a beating.  Plastic parts are poppin’ off everywhere, the music station buttons have actually lost their paint from me changing the station so much, and I won’t even go into the carpet.

“Buckle up!  We need some food.”

{Yes, even the littles are pretty good at buckling up.  They have to be with all the kids.  I usually have to slide the seat belt up a little just to make sure it is done right, but they are pretty good}

We pull up and I walk around the car to get them out.  They exit the car easily, excited about the thought of picking up a red (also abused) car in the grocery store.  We live in Utah County and believe me, we have a lot of kids here.  Our Mormon culture tends to  breed lots of children, and love big families.  Obviously, I fit right into that mold!  The average age in Lehi, a city right next to mine is SEVENTEEN years old!  17.  That is including all persons in the city…

Anyway, we walk right into that store, ready to conquer a shopping trip on our own.  I usually wait until either Jon and go with me to split up the kids, or I have a baby sitter, but we were out of food.

Look how excited these two are…just look!

We head off down the bread isle, my fist stop on our grocery store trip.  I’m looking for Spelt Bread, I hear it’s good for me…”Bug, Handsome, shut the doors”.  I head noises emanating from the car.  Fire truck noises, “Beep Beep” noises and lots of giggles.

“This is going really well” I thought.  I flashed back to the last time I brought the littles and how I didn’t turn sharp enough and knocked over a huge movie rack.  Ya, that was kind of embarrassing.

We rounded into the fruits and veggies, and my eyes got big.  The littles eyes grew huge!  “Mom, get us some bananas, we want peaches!  Mama, get some broccoli and mama we want strawberries!”  I ran around grabbing their request.  They were being so cute and even asking for healthy food.  I couldn’t be more excited to grab what they wanted.

Our cart filled up rather quickly and I still had the rest of the store to go.  I came back down the next isle, winding back and forth in the familiar snake pattern I usually create.  Pudding cups, check.  Oil, check.  I noticed a group of ladies about my age stopped and talking, laughing together and I thought how fun it would be to have more time for friends.

I turned the corner and it happened.

Handsome started yelling for something.  Yelling, and screaming.  I didn’t even know what he saw, but whatever it was….he didn’t plan on living without it.  “Jordan, you can’t have things if you scream for them.”  But that wasn’t working.  He got louder and louder until everyone in the store was peaking around the corners just to see what all the commotion was about.

My face was growing hot, but not because I was embarrassed.  It was because I wanted him to shut that loud mouth and I knew the only was to do it was to give him whatever he wanted, and I just don’t play that game.  I let his screeching get

# Don’t give my kids things because they scream for it.  


It only makes it worse, them worse, and me worse in the long run.

And there it was.  A green gun filled with candy.  I snatched two, one for Bug and one for Handsome.  He whimpered and mustered a grin.  I set off again to the back of the store.  It was obvious that this trip to the store was going to have to be cut short.  I tried to speed things up, still boiling that Mr. turd got away with a treat after so much naughtiness.

and then it happened AGAIN


This time I was ready to exhibit a Walmart beating, right there in Macy’s food store.  I didn’t even fight it this time.  I turned around and rushed back to the toy’s with candy in them stand.  He grabbed another toy.  I headed straight for the milk.  The kids were quiet for a minute and then it came.

“I love you mama.” said Handsome in the sweetest voice possible.

I stared straight ahead, so annoyed I could spit.

“Halle Bug, you can have whatever you want for being so good!”

“Ok mama.”

She knew I was just trying to get to Handsome in the best way possible without by standers turning me into DCFS.

There was a sweet old woman with her grand daughter back by the milk.  She picked up some juice and handed it to the young girl.  “No Grandma, we can’t buy that.  It has too much sugar in it for your health.”  She pointed out another kind of drink and said, “Is this what you want?  This is whats in your house now?”

She was being so sweet and patient with her, I was touched.  It was apparent that she couldn’t talk and was just pointing out what she wanted.  She was told no several times as she shuffled around that big store and I thought, “Is this how I am going to end up? With my girls telling me I can’t have things like I am doing to them now?”

Maybe I should go easier on them so I can have what I want later….Nah.

We pulled up with that big ol’ car and started checking out.  “Everything on the top kids” and they started helping me unload.  I was sure that the whole store was ready for me to leave at that point.  The boy at the checkout said, “mam, what kind of cucumber is this?” and I don’t know a ton about food but I did know this one, “That is some zucchini, not a cucumber…” “Oh, ok” and I was feeling pretty proud of my culinary skills.  “Mam, what kind of garlic is this?” “uuuu, it’s a pearl onion something or other.” I had no idea what I would use it for, but it sure looked cute.  Usually when I buy foods like that, they just rot.  They are still worth the design look in my kitchen though.

After we checked out, we started out to the car.

“Mama, can I have my treat?”  Sure Bug. “Mama, can I have my treat?” No Handsome, you don’t get toys if you scream for them.  And that boy of mine screamed all the way home and all the way up to his bedroom.

Later that day, we read a book and ate the gun candy together after he was acting nice and presentable. And all that food I bought? It sat there as we ate “Dickies BBQ” take out after our long day, the rest too long to write this morning.