You know, there are times I lay in bed at night and stare out my skylight into the dark abyss.  I wonder what lays ahead of me, what stories will fill the remaining chapters of my life.  Sometimes I want to know it all, wouldn’t it be easier though?

Source: via Janae on Pinterest

I could know which things to warn my kids about, or know when to turn on the street so I wouldn’t get a ticket {like last week}.  I would quit worrying about each little bump in business and just know that either people would be coming in to repossess my home, or not.  This might sound funny to you, but maybe not.  I have lost everything before, and although things are running as smoothly as they can for business, it is still a concern.

What IF all I had to live in was our boat?  At least it is a pretty color…

 But then a change my mind and decide that  maybe I shouldn’t know it all.  Maybe just maybe, part of the beauty in life is taking as it comes.  Isn’t patience the base lesson in everything?  Every time I ask myself “what am I supposed to learn from this Janae…?”  There are many things I answer to myself, but patience is always part of the equation.

*Patience is the main ingredient for any recipe*

So I am practicing being patient.  But it is so hard!  I think I was too impatient to wait in that line in heaven.  I skipped it and moved onto the “encouragement line” or the “see the best in others line” or better yet the “distract everyone from everything they are supposed to be doing” line, but oh how it makes it hard for me to be encouraging to people I love and see the best in them, but then have to W.A.I.T. for it to happen!  I am far more understanding of others than I am of my ol’ self though.

I want to be perfect now.

I can’t ever understand why I can’t do it all, because I would like to you know.  I would love to be a concert violinist, fluent in Spanish, graduated with a masters in public relations and communication and business,  eat healthy every day and of course have a perfect body, read every day, be perfectly calm with my kids – but still firm enough to teach them the lessons they need to know….

should I go on?

You get the point.  It never ends.  The funny part is that people close to me say that I am already patient….Heaven give me patience with myself to see that because I need it.  I will keep going because the beauty is in the climb! What line did you miss out on in heaven?