I am quite disturbed.

My life has taken a turn for the worse and I am trying to cope in the best way I know possible.  Remember my friends, you are here because you want to be, so no nasty comments please.  I have actually never had one before, but it is only a matter of time you know. Just remember you were warned.

Do you remember how I just found out I have low iron in my blood?  Yes Yes, that is just the tip of the iceberg.  I know this is a relatively minor issue to deal with, actually a majorly minor issue, but I am getting frustrated.  I have been reading about blood, and anemia, and it’s side effects and I about died when I found out that it takes on average 3 to 5 months to build back up your iron stores in the blood.  I don’t want to feel this way all summer…my favorite time to exercise and my water skiing will be pathetic!

I actually considered getting a voluntary blood transfusion from my sister, same blood type and all because the fix would be almost immediate.  I don’t know if this is something the doc would consider or not.  Great thing is, she offered and I know she doesn’t have any funky lurking diseases.  I actually may become smarter, more homemaky, more organized, with thicker hair if I had some of her blood running through my veins.

Maybe I need to really consider this. 

I bet Hubster would go for it.  He may get better dinners out of me…  I wonder if her hubby would mind, now that I am thinking of it.  Is that kind of weird to lend out your DNA?  Does it change someone in some weird way?  I have never thought about it.  I have donated blood and part of me may possibly be making someone else out there slightly fly by the seat of their pants, overly sensitive to other’s feelings, and distracted.

This reminds me of another random thought I have had.  I have had extensions in my hair in and out for 10 years, TEN YEARS and I have often thought that I could get away with any crime because if they took a hair sample from the crime scene it would show up as a girl from India with thick beautiful hair.

I’m safe.

After all this rambling, the most important thing in my life at this very moment as I lay on my bed and type is that I am focusing on not going stool.  You heard it!  My doc says I have to go in a cup and not pee…stool.  They want to make sure I am not loosing blood somehow in my tummy.  I have procrastinated for a week and Hubsie says I have to, no option and believe me I have tried to wiggle out of this inevitable sentence.  Hubs is pretty supportive, this is how helped me deal with this issue…

{Jon} Just take a crap in a big brown paper sack and take it to them and then ask, 

“Will this be enough?”  

You know how when you pee in a cup and you always wonder if there is too much or not enough?  You let out what you think should be ample to take a sample, but you don’t want to come across as overzealous so you dump some out, and then you stress that you will have to do it again? 

Anyway, I went to pick up the special poop collecting kit today at the lab and as I went up to the counter I tried to say it quiet


“Hello dear, what is your name?”

“ummm Janae…”

“What honey, I couldn’t hear you…”

so I piped up and said it again

“It’s Janae.”

“Ok, are you fasting right now?”

“No, I’m not here to give blood, I need to pick up something.”

“Oh…the stool sample kit.” she bellowed behind the desk into a very quiet room full of people.


The older lady next to me started to snicker… “I had to do that last time I was here…”

“Yes, pee is one thing, poop is another…” I said as I grab the bright yellow baggie and walk out the door.

“At least I don’t have to stay here and poop in the cup, I could be here for a week!” I thought

I couldn’t be that lucky.  I wish it was a week…..I now feel like a 2 year old that is afraid to poop and let me tell you, those poop collecting instructions are the sickest thing I have ever read.  They should have been rated R.

R for repulsive.

My friends.

I have learned a very important lesson.

Take multivitamins.

PS. if you are wondering why I didn’t want to say “poop kit” at the lab but I will on my blog…?

Well I don’t know, but it is different to me.