That’s how long it has taken in my experience for an 18 month old to be completely settled in our home. I understand that everyone has a different set of circumstances going into adoption, but for us it seems this was the length of time.
It has actually been 6 months to the day that I am typing this.
Our family life has changed
Each child has changed
Hubster has changed
I have changed
and Handsome has changed.
It has been a six months of growth and it hasn’t been easy. It has been worth e.v.e.r.y. s.t.e.p. but not easy. It has built patience for us all, love, and gratitude. Handsome was quite literally an answer to a prayer said in total seclusion and out of complete hope and resolve that whatever answer I received, was meant to be.
I truly had faith and had planned to let go of my need to raise a son.
I was already so blessed, who was I to ask for another child when there are women all over the world that can’t have one, for whatever reason. I felt selfish, absurd, but Heavenly Father knew my heart and he knew of a special little boy that had come to this earth through another channel…just ….for….me.
And now after months of him whining and aimlessly walking around, yelling because he couldn’t talk and explain his pain, he sits on my lap and snuggles. He wraps his bear paw little hand around my fingers and nestles his head back into my neck. He giggles and understands when I am teasing and when I am serious.
He now falls asleep snuggled up with his stuffed animals, cars, or coloring book as I lay on the floor beside him. Monkey is a permanent fixture in his room and he loves knowing someone is there with him if he wakes up at night.
When he wakes in the morning he doesn’t cry but walks into my room and climbs into bed with me. He snuggles up and grins as he shuts his eyes. Soon after, he is ready to eat…and eat…and eat all day.
He has grown so much!
He wrestles with the other girls and when he has his feelings hurt for whatever reason, he will go to daddy and let him rub his back as he snuffles his anger out. He loves to read and repeats everything I say. He is a student and wants to communicate all of his feelings. He turned 2 about a month ago and his speech is growing leaps and bounds.
I was shocked when he first came and I heard six months…stay home! What? That isn’t even possible in my life! I have tried to stay home more and I think it has made a difference. I have had an amazing support system in neighbors and family. Luckily Handsome loves going to Jon’s parents and asks for them out of the blue, all the time.
Over all I feel blessed, thankful, overwhelmed, and humble that Heavenly Father heard and answered my prayer. It has been a faith building experience for me and I don’t take prayer lightly. It is real, and I don’t know how it works but it does. Some answers take years to be answered, and others maybe never are…but isn’t that an answer also?
Remember, you are never alone.
If you need help or support, get down on your knees and ask. Talk about your day, your frustrations, your joys, … anything. You will feel better. I don’t know how, but you will. It’s kind of like paying tithing for me or reading scriptures. It doesn’t really make sense that doing these things will have an effect on your happiness, but it just does.
I don’t care what religion you are or even if you have a religion, prayer works. After all if anyone understands who we are and how we feel, it is Heavenly Father. I am not perfect, I fail day in and day out…but I believe that Heavenly Father loves us just as we love our children. We get the chance to try and parent them, so we understand the true meaning of love.
I am so grateful for all of my children. They are all challenging in different ways, but they have each taught me lessons that I would have never learned without them.
This is the first picture I saw of Handsome.
What a doll.
and this is the first time he fell asleep on me…it wouldn’t be the last!