I have never claimed to be a chef
or a cook
or even a homemaker.
I don’t cook
I don’t like to cook
I actually HATE to cook and I never use the word HATE.
My mom tried
She tried to lure me into the kitchen
To watch her bake bread, rolls, and homemade cheese soup.
I didn’t work
I had better things to do
I find some way every day to still have better things to do.
Don’t get me wrong…I try
And it’s a good thing my kids don’t expect much
and neither does my patient long suffering hungry husband.
I figured I would make one New Years resolution this year
to only set one goal as to not to be overwhelmed.
And guess what,
I already accomplished my goal
and the pressure is off.
And then I felt like a looser being
all completed with my resolutions on January First
So I made one more.
To learn to cook
more than sandwiches, spaghetti, and BBQ
My life may just come to an end.
Or my kids
depending on my success
We shall see.
I am keeping a log of what I cook
or try to cook
so I can see my progress or feel guilty that there isn’t any.
Today I decided to make stew
I have made it before
and it even tasted good
I first decided that my environment needed to be just right
so I began to set the stage
first rule, make dinner before lunch.
I was right on schedule
I started to psyche myself out
I turned on my favorite music that energizes but calms *Jack Johnson*
I got into some really comfortable clothes
turned down the temperature
so I wouldn’t overheat in my exertions.
I set my *twins* on the counter with a crock pot in between the 2
and started cutting celery and onions
I let them throw them in and they loved it.
I added some stuff from one recipe
and some other stuff from another recipe
I think I used 5 different opinions on how to best make beef stew.
I guess I won’t know who was right because I mediated
that’s how I work you know.
I handed Bug and Handsome
a spoon to start stirring
as I dumped in this and that.
They danced to the music and so did I
I couldn’t handle it any longer and
pulled the kids off the counter to spin with me.
It was at that moment that I realized
how I have lived with an ADD husband all these years
I am coming to accept the fact that I am PARTIALLY add myself *shhhhhh*
I remembered I was cooking after a bit
and rummaged for my non existent potatoes and carrots
and then I gave up.
The meat was next
I went into my garage and navigated my way to our tall freezer
We have a fridge, tall freezer, and short wide freezer there for all these kids.
I found a beef
possible a whole cow there
but NO stew meat
I finally picked out a roast
that was frozen of course
and brought it inside.
I plopped that thing in a pan to
fry it into submission
I couldn’t cut it after all.
To this point I had spent about an hour cooking
with the kids
and my distractions.
I was proud of myself
and my kids were having fun
I was even cleaning up as I went along.
I approached the meat..
turned it on high
and let er rip
I browned the outside and realized
I would have to start cutting
sooner than later
I dug out a knife
and hacked away at the slab of beef
I sawed and cut and twisted and groaned
I wasn’t getting through that thing yet.
I became impatient and dumped water in
so it wouldn’t burn and maybe steam it soft
and then It worked.
As I examined the flesh
I saw bones that must have been
the back bone.
and then I saw fat
and other things that I didn’t want to eat.
I couldn’t believe how much fat there was
for an animal that stands and moves all day
and I agreed with myself that this cow probably exercised more than I have lately.
Wouldn’t it be nice
if I could cut the fat off my bones in a pan
just like I was doing to the cow?
I took out chunks
and threw them in my trash
The more I cut
the more I saw that I didn’t want to eat
and I transported a huge chunk across the room on a fork to the waiting garbage.
Until it fell into my bare hand
and I shuttered
and got the chills.
All and all
I think I got a good 16 pieces
into the pot that passed my inspection.
2 pieces per family member
I’m still proud because I cooked
and it wasn’t a sandwich
Even though I would rather it was.
our ward news letter came out and
Monkey and Sprite were interviewed.
Both girls mentioned they loved lasagna
the interviewer said,
“Their mom must make amazing Lasagna because they both love it!”
Little did she know
Mrs. Stouffer made that lasagna they are speaking of
and they do love it, because I didn’t make it.