There is nothing like visiting the gynecologist…nothing.
Without getting into too much graphic detail I just have to say the the instruments they use are nothing less than something from a horror film.
The first time I went for an exam it was when I was pregnant with my first baby. I followed the doctors directions and changed out of my clothes, and laid down underneath that paper weight “blanket”. (Is that thing supposed to make you feel shielded? I don’t know about that.) and tried to imagine myself being somewhere else…the beach, the movies,..anything. I rested my head back and gazed at the ceiling.
Nothing shocked me more than when I saw Brad Pitt looking back at me from the poster. I still don’t know quite how to feel about that..tacky? Probably…did he pick the right guy? Probably.
I was sent an email a few years back and still laugh at it every time I think about it. I thought it would be a great way to laugh into this next very busy week!
In Melbourne, Fl. one of the radio
stations paid money ($100-$500) for people
to tell their most embarrassing stories.
This one netted the winner $300…..
I was due later in the week for an appointment
with the gynecologist when one morning
I received a call from his office: I had been
rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30am.
I had just packed everyone off to work and
school and it was around 8:45 already.
The trip to his office usually took about 35
minutes so I didn’t have any time to spare. As
most women do, I’m sure, I like to pay a little
extra attention to hygiene when making such visits,
but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make
the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw
off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and
gave myself a wash in “that area” in front of the
sink, taking care to make sure that I was presentable.
I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket,
donned some clothes, hopped in the car and
raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room only a few minutes
when he called me in.
Knowing the procedure, as I am sure all women do,
I hopped up on the table, looked over at the
other side of the room and pretended I was
in Hawaii or some other place a million miles
away from here.
I was a little surprised when he said: “My…we have
taken a little extra effort this morning, haven’t we?”, but I
didn’t respond. The appointment over, I heaved a sigh of relief and
went home. The rest of the day went normal, some shopping, cleaning
and the evening meal, etc.,
At 8:30 that evening my 14 year old daughter
was getting ready for a school dance, when she
called down from the bathroom, “Mom – where’s
I called back for her to get another from
the cabinet. She called back, “No – I need the
one that was here by the sink. It had all my
glitter and sparkles in it.”