It’s hard to go cold turkey.

I have so many fun pictures to share  but don’t have enough speed on my Internet in the mountains to upload them.  I sit and watch the loading bar spin hoping to see something, but it just doesn’t happen.  I have pictures from the “Utah Arts Festival” that we went to last week, Whitney’s dance individual pictures, all of my new family pictures, Jon flying away from the cabin as the sun sets in the sky on Sunday, and our ongoing fourth of July celebrations. 

 I guess it will all have to wait until I get home or until I can figure out a better way to up the speed.  We have two cabins right next to each other.  One is the original family cabin that has been remodeled and expanded for a growing family and the second is the cabin Little Jon and I bought so we had more room.  The yards join through the trees with paths that have been cleared out so we can easily walk back and forth.  The Internet connection resides at the larger cabin and I have a wireless system the hooks up so I can use it from both, but it isn’t great.  I am trying to find a way around buying two separate systems when we own both homes and they are so close, but I think the trees and tall mountains get in the way.  

Anyway, I thought because I can’t post any pictures, I would tell a few interesting things about the history of the cabin.  There is a circle that both cabins are located on that originally was owned by all of Little Jon’s family.  Every cabin on the “block” was the summer home for several uncles two generations back.  Since then every family has sold their cabin but us, so this mountain and area have many stories that are shared.  Jon’s Grandpa even took in his last breaths on the shores of the lake by the cabin after he was finished with a perfect day of fishing.  It was his favorite thing and wouldn’t have chosen it any other way.  Jon’s dad still drives the same refurbished truck he was driving that day 

It is a beautiful area by Jackson Hole Wyoming where it is not uncommon to see bear, moose, elk, dear, and even buffalo closer to Yellowstone National Park.  The hiking and fishing on these natural hidden lakes is pristine and untouched by the hustle and bustle of city life.  

I have grown up loving the area.  My mom and dad brought me to Jackson all growing up to visit Yellowstone, the Teton mountains, Jenny’s lake and every other area I still visit.  My family didn’t have a cabin, but ventured into the wild the mountain man way.  We camped.  I remember the first time I learned to water ski was on Jackson Lake in water that was fresh melt off from the glaciers from the enormous mountains above.  I remember wanting to stay up on the ski’s because I was so cold more than I cared to stay up just to say I did!  I just became accustomed to holding my breath and ignoring the shooting pain that comes with freezing lake water.  I let the thoughts flow through my head from my mother and father that, 

“It is refreshing, and peaceful!  Just  don’t think about it and you will get used to it.”  

I think they meant to say numb, because that is what happened.  After a while we children didn’t complain, because the appendage became obsolete.  We would flop back into the boat after our turn in the icy abyss and shake from excitement, or as I understand it now….hypothermia.  Combine that with focusing on trying not to crash by the moose swimming across the lake AND executing whatever trick we were attempting, and we had a grand time!

  I don’t think I realized how crazy we were compared to other folks until I grew up and learned that very few others operated in the same fashion.  There is a thing called a dry suit or even a wet suit that can be worn to ease the blow, but not for us.  We just jumped in, just like my parents will expect of my children when they come up to visit us at the cabin later this week.   Water skiing is on the agenda even though very few other boats will be there.   

  I remember thinking when I was young, “I wonder where my future husband is in the world? I wonder if he is close to where I am are far away.”  Little did I know that he was possibly fishing on the same lake I was water skiing on as I thought it.  Part of me wonders if my mom consented to our marriage because of little Jon’s ties to Jackson Hole.

 *Just kidding…. well kind of* 

Whatever the reason, we all love to come together and enjoy the same spot on earth!  Little Jon’s dad has always hoped that the cabin and land would be passed down to the our son…that we never had, to keep it owned by the same family name that is has for countless years.  As you can see, that won’t happen so he takes pride in the fact that I am just as determined to keep it in the family as he is.  For me, it is long term…a family legacy that will continue if we can.  Everyone in Jon’s family loves coming and enjoying the scenery and relationships we have here.  I feel very blessed to have a place like this to visit and owe a lot to the people that came before us that took care of the land.

 It’s hard for me to imagine that the things around me will quite possible last longer than I will.  Our jewelry, possessions, tools, and silver wear will be passed down to future generations, but we move on.  Our time here is so short and somehow we still find time to procrastinate and focus on things that just don’t matter in the bigger picture.  Our families are all that matter, but a myriad of other things can easily take over. 

 They aren’t bad things, but they distract us.  

Sometimes I feel like I am with my children, but not present.  They hold my hand, hear my voice, and walk with me but my mind is disengaged.  I am distant somehow.  

We all go through ups and downs where we have more or less energy.  Staying focused day after day after day can be exhausting and even miserable sometimes and my kids can get short changed somehow, sometimes.  I have to remind myself often that if I have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, I am crapping on today.  I tend to think about what has already happened and how I could/should have done it different, while Jon stresses about the future.  In reality, we only have control over TODAY.  Yes, we need to remember where we have been and take lessons from that AND we need to plan for the future, but if we spend all of our energy in those places we are less effective today.  

Today, I am focused on today. 

 I am focused on building relationships with my kids and family.  

I am focused on now, not hurts from my past that I can’t change now anyway (and made me who I am) and not things I have to worry about in the future.  

Happy Holidays!  May we all set out to make it a great day, and look for the good that surrounds us