I knew this day would come…someday. It has loomed in my future for several years, but I have chosen not to give voice to it for fear of breathing life to the thought. Do you ever just know something that will happen in your future and you aren’t quite sure why or how? I have felt that way on several occasions, this being one of them.
I have always been somewhat of a dare devil. While other girls were painting their finger nails and playing dress up, I was wearing camo and spying on people for fun. Barbies weren’t so much my cup of tea, but water skiing and snow skiing were. In high school there were girls that sat home crying about a boyfriend while I was lighting off fireworks with my guy buddies. Not much homework for me, I was too busy riding motorcycles in the mountains. I love a good healthy rush!
So why is it that I am so fearful of this coming Sunday? I have always loved to fly! I dream about flying all the time and I have been up in several planes including a few really small planes doing tricks, and a few helicopters. I guess the difference is that Jon will be starting flying lessons and he is well, the father of my children!
OK, OK, I KNOW I have heard all of the statistics. “There are more car accidents than plane crashes.” and “We just hear about it on the news because it is so uncommon.” I’ve heard it. It doesn’t mean I have to like it. I blame it one too many stories of planes going down.
For years now I haven’t gone sky diving because it scares Jon to loose me. Yes, you heard me right…I would rather JUMP OUT OF A PERFECTLY GOOD PLANE THAN WORRY ABOUT CRASHING IN ONE! This may not be a very common feeling, but it makes sense to me. When you jump from a plane, you are mentally ready for it and have the gear. If a plane is unexpectedly going down, I think I would poop a potato *sorry for the French*.
I have known. I knew this was one of Jon’s life time wishes and goals. Who am I to get in the way of that? I believe in supporting each others dreams. He helps me reach mine all the time. Jon is so busy that he has given up many things he used to love to do. Hunting, snowmobiling, four wheeling, are just some of the passions that he has lost. Now his biggest loves are his salt water fish tank and now flying! I don’t plan on the worst happening, but I can’t help think about it. To make matters even more interesting, we joined a plane club where we are part owner of three different planes so we can use them when we need to. Jon wants to use them for business and personal. Personal…there is a word for you. This idea is personal!! The additional brain cramp I am having derives from the fact that Jon wants me to learn to fly with him *Sunday*! Now THAT my friends is personal!
This is how I feel about now:
- If I am in the air and Jon has an unexpected massive heart attack, I would want to know how to land the dang thing!
- I may as well learn at the same time as he does, less gas money and teacher time.
- I’m crazy to be considering this!
- I could be a cool chick if I had my pilots license.
- My life is never “normal” and this only backs up that theory.
- I think it may be peaceful (as long as I can fly the plane on Valium).
- It’s a cool thought that I could fly to the cabin in an hour and a half vs. 5.
- I must be crazy to consider this.
- I could just stand at the airport and take pretty pictures of Jon flying around above me…
- Did I mention I’m crazy to be considering this?
Sunday. Can I get some guts by then? We shall see. I think I will be wishy washy up until I either get on the plane looking white as a ghost or run away screaming like a chicken with my head cut off!