I am a friend who lost a friend

I wonder if she’s near.

I hear the cries of my mind

I see an ocean in red, I want it replaced with blue

I am a friend who lost a friend.

I pretend I laugh with her like in the past,

I feel her next to me.

I worry that her family feels lost

I cry at the thought of them living alone.

I am a friend who lost a friend.

I understand she is somewhere happy and safe,

I dream I’ll see her someday.

I try and remember there’s life after death

I know this to be true.

I am a friend who lost a friend.

There aren’t many words to share other than these.

What do you say when someone you love dies?

My neighbor once was just someone that lived next door, until, she became more. Leslie had a light in her eyes and something always witty and a little off colored to say. I became close with her over the past six years in our passing in and out. Our words were usually quick because we were both going about our busy lives, but sometimes it was much more than that.

Sometimes we really talked and connected. Sometimes, turned out to be too little.

Before I left on my cruise a few weeks ago, I kept having promptings to write to her. You see, she started having pains in her legs about 5 months ago. It all happened so fast. At first the doctors didn’t know what was wrong, and the next thing we knew she was being treated against the horrible battle of Cancer.

She had such a good attitude, she even teased and mocked her wig as she lost her hair. Gave it a name and everything. Always a funny story to share. Her husband and son were are just like her and because part of our neighborhood family. Until one day, I could tell things were getting too hard behind their green, closed, front door. I sent messages in with

her husband and son of love and prayer. Most of the time they couldn’t even respond,

and I didn’t blame them. There were trying to cope, to breathe.

I was blessed to see her one last time right before Thanksgiving. She welcomed me in, adorned with a beautiful, yet foreboding scarf on her head. We sat down as she explained the

“Great news!” of the chemo working. She said she had prepared herself to hear the worst when she went in for the test results that day. She explained how she felt so blessed to have been able to raise her children and marry the love of her life. “What else was there anyway?” She shed tears and she expressed her feelings. I cried with her. 

 Cried for her bravery and optimism.

The next thing I knew, it wasn’t going so well. Time flew too fast and so had I. I am sad that I missed the chance to send one more note and hug her one more time. I know life will move on as it always does, just without one of my friends, one mom, one grandma, and one wife.

I am a friend that lost a friend.

Yet this, like any other challenge in life is a rock.  

 A rock waiting to be broken apart into stepping stones.