I actually felt a tear well up in my eye as I watched all 5 girls walk into school today. When it almost fell, Ella tried to hold Halle’s hand and she smacked it!

Whew, that was a close one! It must be the fact that I’m leaving on a cruise today that has me all sentimental. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll get over it soon. It only strengthens my belief that it is SO important to get away once in a while with only your man. It isn’t always possible, I know, but even going for a walk or sitting at the park can be just as good
(as long as the cell phone is off!)

I have so much to do today in a short amount of time, I find it comical that I am writing on my blog. It has become a habit to write once a day and very therapeutic for me. As I look around my house I find myself filled with apologies.

– Feeling bad for leaving my house in less than perfect order for my sweet sister that is coming to try and wrestle with my life for the next week.
– A little guilty that I know there is still paper work to be filed and taxes are due.
– Frantic that my business Native Honey is supposed to go on without me checking in on my seamstress and be here to get orders sent to the stores in California.
– Some guilt for missing my kids “Young Authors Fair” where they display the books we have been working for months together on.
– Some more guilt that I am missing one of Whitney’s dance recitals.
– And yet even more guilt that Sydney is driving all the kids places,
and teaching my Primary lesson on Sunday.
(AND P.S.) I will miss tucking in my babies each night, even though when I have the chance I have VERY little patience by that point in the day.

Oh My, I could go on BUT I WONT because I still believe more than anything that Jon and I are a team and if the TEAM ain’t strong…the family fails. My kids are in great hands. They actually are very excited for Camille’s cooking and I don’t blame them. By the time I get back, I may be traded in for a newer and better model. A car that is cleaner, more efficient, and sweet.

I (think) I am kidding, but sometimes it’s hard not to feel like there is always more to be done. My kids will survive and be a little more grateful for me when I return. I am best friends with my kids and love watching them grow and develop every day into the beautiful women, mothers, and wives they will be someday. My weaknesses along with my strengths will help build who they are.

One of my favorite memories is of my own mother. She had just given birth to my youngest sibling and sister. She had five kids, three boys in the middle and me being the oldest. She was fed up and so frustrated with all of the boys running circles around her. She was carrying the baby and her pants were part way unzipped and falling off (as they usually do after you have a baby). I decided to pick the perfect opportunity to mouth off, and as soon as I did I saw her walking
toward me trying to kick my little butt. She missed,
(she never connected, that was my dads job..the spanking when necessary thing).

She hates it when I remember her weakness, but she has no idea how much strength I draw from that moment. I realize that she wasn’t perfect and she still made an amazing mother. It gives me hope and determination on the days I feel like giving up. So thank you mom, thank you for being my everything and setting an impossible bar for me to try and follow. I look up to you and love you, just as I hope my girls look to me someday.

Bon Voyage!